By about 3pm, my knee felt a little weird.  I figured it was because of all the treading of stairs I’d been doing but a gentle tap suggested that there was a rogue sock wedged behind my in knee in my jeans.  I told you it was too early for me to wake up.  The place was packed and I didn’t have enough time to quietly slip into the bathroom to remove it so it stayed there, until closing time, where it drove me mental.

But whatever, I’ve a job again!  On the wake of this happy news, our shower decided to waterfall through the roof into the kitchen.  I think I’m going to have to go shower at the hospital with my med student flatmates until our Landlady decides to come back from holiday :( Rains, pours, etc.

It hasn’t really hit me that I’m unemployed.  I know there are important issues here like, how will I pay rent?  How will I buy food?  How I will I spend my weekends in other countries?  What if my shoes break and I need new ones?  Very important, yet all I seem to be doing is trying hard to conceal my glee at being able to sleep in on Monday morning.

The whole sleeping part of my life isn’t going so well at the moment either, to be honest.  I’ll spend the day head-on-my-desk tired, then 10pm hits and zing! I am wide awake.  I am wide awake until about 2am, then I’ll wake up again at around 4.30am and stress out about things that haven’t happened or have happened in the past.  I’m considering sleeping pills for just some freaking peace of mind, but I really don’t need anymore help waking up groggy, unwilling to get out of bed and generally pissed at daylight.

We went to Amsterdam last weekend, I’ll type that up at some stage.  Turns out, I have plenty of time these days.

I think the reason I haven’t been writing is because my life sorta sucks right now.  Well, it doesn’t, that’s an exaggeration, but my work has decided that they will not renew my contract.  I got told last week.  I’m outta here on the 30th.  They told me that my recruitment agency is charging them a finders fee type thing and they don’t want to pay it.  So, sionara.  I think they’re trying to keep it quiet as well, because hey, people like me, or so the voices in my head tell me.  They probably didn’t count on me emailing everyone and being all, THEY’RE GETTING RID OF ME.

Good thing I made the decision a few months ago to stay at this job as long as possible, wouldn’t want to be caught out in the credit crunch right now.

Sometimes I can’t believe my luck.  I mean, almost every kiwi in some point of their life, goes overseas for their OE (overseas experience, for those not in the know).  The year I do it, the freaking economy collapses.  What the shit, ay.

Last night, my flatmate Sneaky and I, were discussing work and she mentioned someone had got fired at her work. I was like, hur, if you need anyone to work this weekend, I’m free!  Then we both laughed, because she’s a highly skilled hairdresser.

Then I was deadly serious and it got a bit awkward.

Whilst we’re still on the work thing, I had a dream last night about one of the younger Managers here.  It was one of *those ones* except it wasn’t me.  He was with a friend of mine I played basketball with in Highschool.  Nat and I sat in the next room trying our best not to listen and eventually we had to yell threats of busting in there with cameras to make them stop.

This morning he walked into work with a big smile, Hi Lilley! Yeesh, awkward dream life spills into real life and I can’t look at the guy anymore.

I am going to write about New Years at some point.  Possibly when I have fixed the red eyes out of our photos.

At least I was only 20 minutes late this morning, compared to everyone else who got here at 11am.  And, I didn’t even set my alarm but still managed to wake up fairly on time.  Ooh yea, being adult and shit.

I got asked to buy biscuits for some meeting they’re having this morning.  I bought “Party Rings”.  Is that unprofessional?  I dunno, they looked interesting.

They taste like arse.  I know this, because I’ve opened the pack and started eating them.  That might be unprofessional as well.  Crumbs are getting in the envelopes I’m stuffing.

I’m craving tomato juice, extra spicy.  This is new. Usually I crave cranberry juice after a night out.  I went through a stage of getting out of bed and pouring one glass of cranberry juice and one glass of milk, then alternating sips out of them.  Seriously, the tomato juice craving is so bad, I might kill someone.

Edit: After reviewing the photos of last night, I’ve realised this is the second time I’ve had to ask a guy to photoshop my boobs.  The flash of the camera makes my strapless bra see-a-ble through my dress.

Every day, every hour at work, I get a call from someone trying to sell our company stuff. Everything from furniture to mailing labels. Usually I’m polite, I know their job sucks. I have had one screaming match, in which we took turns on hanging up on each other whilst my boss giggled in the background. This one was a little more unusual.

Me: Good afternoon, blah blah company name

Caller: Oh hi! Is that [my name]? I’m just ringing to follow up on the survey you answered on cleaning products.

Me: I.. um… don’t remember doing that….

Caller: Oh perhaps someone else did and gave your name! We’d just like to ask a few more questions about the products you use there, since you’re in charge of them. You’re still the person in charge of ordering in cleaning products right?”

Me: I guess, but I seriously don’t think..

Caller: Great! Do you still use general office cleaner and degresant?

Me: Um..

Caller: Good to hear. As a token of our appreciation for you answering the survey, I’d like to send you a couple of bottles of complimentry wine. One white and one red, gorgeous stuff from Chile.

Me: Ok, great sounds good.

Caller: Can I have your home address?

Me: Er.. no, it would be better if you sent it to this address at work.

Caller: Are you allowed to receive wine at work?

Me: Yes, send it on down.

Caller: Ok, here is your courier number! Hope you like it! I’ll give you a call next week so you can place an order for more cleaning products!

Me: Ok..right..

BRIBERY. Send the wine and be done with you, woman.

Never trust the office receptionist?

So many questions.

I emailed a co-worker whose friend had seen the undies. “Is it true there were undies found in the recycling bin? Were they girls or boys? What size and brand?”
“Not sure if they were girls or not” she wrote back. “Those snazzy boy-legs you can get these days made them harder to identify. Size and brand I will investigate, this could provide some leads. My first thought was that someone shit themselves at work, but there was no evidence of this.”
“I thought maybe someone was shagging and had to ditch them quickly” I replied. “But surely they could have just tucked them in to their pocket?”

Back and forth the emails went.

“We must decipher what sort of underwear people wear” I wrote. “What about [other co-worker] downstairs?”
“Hmm, no she looks too posh for the boy legs and going commando at work. Perhaps [another co-worker] in the other division?”
“Yes, of course…she does look the type to go commando…”

The mystery continues…

And in other news, one of our tadpoles (now a frog) has escaped his tank. To be honest, I think it’s dead somewhere, but it’s funny freaking Nat out with the possibility that it could be climbing up her leg right now.

Zara’s going to be heading off to South America and me and Georgie are looking at London which is all very exciting.

To replace us, Zara brought Nat some tadpoles. They are SO GROSS and look like giant sperm. But they are awesome at the same time. We put together their little habitat and they’re swimming merrily around at the moment. Apart from the one we’ve named Georgie. She’s a little bit shocked right now. I haven’t had tadpoles since I was a kid. These ones are a whole lot bigger than the ones I remember.

We don’t do a helleva lot on Fridays.

In other news, I’ve just introduced Nat to the Shewee. Truly an amazing invention.

In about 10minutes of the ban being discovered I’d (with a bit of help) figured out away around it.

So if anyone is wanting to unblock a site at work, or school, this is how you do it.
Go to www.unblockall.net . Its a web proxy. Enter the web address. Done. Easy. I take no responsibility for you getting fired.

This worked well, until today. One of the techs (who also happens to be a member of the Board, someone quite important) came into my office. “Hello Miss Get-Around-My-Web-Filters-To-Look-At-Sites”. “Hello” I squeaked. He kinda smirked at me then said very kindly “not to put him in a bad position”. “Ok” I said.
“Have you told anyone else how to do this?
“umm well maybe one person” LIES I told about 6 people and txted others who were not present in the office at the time.

Soon after the entire company received this email:

>Hi Team,
It has been brought to our attention that a number of staff have personal web-sites active throughout the day. These sites are considered distractions and are no different to receiving personal calls or texting during work time. Given this, we have blocked the following sites during working hours:

Bebo Google Mail
Yahoo Mail MySpace
Paradise Mail Facebook
Friendster Hotmail
Photo sharing Flickr
Photobucket Youtube

Access will be available after 5pm each night. It is our intention to allow access to these sites at lunchtime by setting up a separate PC in the cafeteria. Please adhere to the above policy decision ? thanks. >

It was sent from the Managing Director. My boss. Also… my Dad. There are pros and cons to being the boss’s daughter. The cons being I miss out on the office gossip sometimes, people stop talking when I enter a room. Also the added joy of Setting A Good Example. The pros are quite naturally “Dad can I have $5 for lunch” and Not Getting Fired for sneaking past company policy to check my Myspace.

I was having dinner with Mum when Dad stormed in. “LILLEY! The tech just came in and told me that within 10minutes of that ban being put up you had found a way around it! And that you told OTHERS how to do it!”
“Oh did ya really?” Mum was impressed.
“You might as well just drawn a line in the sand and told me not to cross it” I told him.
“Do you know what this means?” Dad was smirking now. “It means that when that bloody ban was put on I was probably the only one in the company who was actually blocked!”
I had to laugh at that. “I notice that you didn’t ban Trademe Dad” (Trademe is the NZ EBay for you Internationalites).
“Trademe doesn’t count”.

Dad has a Trademe addiction. He sold our driveway on it once but thats another story.

By sheer luck I’ve now been granted amnesty from the ban. Not Dads idea, but the Techs. Apprently since I work for 2 websites, therefore being on the net all day, I need to have access to everything. So I guessed it kinda worked out… for me (sorry team!!)

Stay tuned for: The Goings on of Friday Night, in which I get hit on by a girl and a guy at the same time.

“You have a meeting tomorrow. What are you going to wear?”

“Um I dunno, my jeans I guess”

“THAT’S IT. ‘Georgie’s Boss’! Take my credit card and take her shopping”

*cheers from Georgie’s Boss*

I don’t know if I’ve really expressed how much I hate shopping.  There’s been many a attempt by my friends to drag me round clothes shops to buy shit I’ll hate in a few days anyway.  I don’t mind buying stuff I like though.  Meaning, I love jeans, hoodies, general skate punk type casual clothes.  Dresses and “work clothes” are another story.

The shopping trip went ok though.  Georgie’s boss simply marched me round shops, picked out clothes and I brought them :) And amazingly enough.. I kinda like what I brought.

First day at work was funny.  The accounts lady stared at me for a while and simply blurted “There’s something wrong with you today”

“I’m wearing a dress?”

“OH! So you are! That’s it! You look lovely dear”

My fellow bogan downstairs wasn’t so impressed at smoko.

“What the Fuck.  Are you wearing BOOTS?”

“Shut the fuck up alright”

“Is that a DRESS?”

“Oi shush, pass me your lighter”

Everyone in the office has been extra careful to let me know they approve of the Girlification. I’m putting my foot down before this goes too far though. I refuse to take the ring out of my lip for one.  Heh.

Edit: I’m wearing a new dress today, and just got asked if hell had frozen over.  This coming from the guy who wears his best suit on CASUAL FRIDAY.