First up, sorry for the WHOA purple.  I was sick of the last look.  Will choose something better later.

A few people have been asking me what products I use for this and that so I thought I’d type it all up as a bit of a review on things.  What you need to know is, I am the worlds laziest person when it comes to make up and girly shit.  Basically, my criteria for any product is Highly Rated All Over The Internet and Takes Five Seconds To Use with a side of Minimal Effort Required.

Summer Skin

My mother and Aunt both work at a cosmetic and surgical skin clinic.  If there is one lesson I have had repeatedly drummed in to me my entire life, it is the evils of sun tanning.  This will age your skin prematurely, give you wrinkles, make you look like an old baked potato, steal your last chocolate and lock you out of your car.  So, like any other whitey who burns to all fuckery after 10 minutes outside, I fake tan instead.

I use Xen Tan products and I LOVE them.  They’re the only tanner I have used that aren’t orange at all they don’t smell weird.  I mean, they smell good for like an hour or so then there is that weird fake tan smell but that doesn’t last long either.  They come out of the bottle usually a brown or green colour which just sort of reinforces how less likely they are to turn  you into a tangerine.  The colour is just so natural.

Dark Lotion
This is my number one right here.  It does not mess around with this gradual tanning rubbish, you put it on and you are done.  It is one of Xen Tan’s darkest formulas but it’s not ridiculous.  I am white beyond belief and this does not stand out as outrageous as all.  It’s a gorgeous colour.  It does have a stain in it though so you will be able to see where you have a applied it and this top colour looks a little red on me.  That washes straight off in the shower.  This is one you’d want to apply before bed I guess.  Sometimes I don’t and just wear that top colour like a boss.  Like I said, lazy.

Mousse
Considerably lighter than the Dark Lotion.  It was the first product I bought and I loved it to start with.  It’s a foam texture so it doesn’t streak at all and is dead easy to put on.  It’s a great base colour for starting your tan and for your face.  However, I’d doubt this one would be dark enough for those slightly more tan or naturally olive, it is very light.  It’s the tanner for scaredy cats.  How’s that.

Transform Luxe
This one is one of those gradual tan moisturizer things.  I actually really like it, the colour is good and it’s nice for your face and over a tan to keep it fresh.  I usually use it in the days after Dark Lotion application.

Face Tanner
Not sure if I’m sold on this.  I used to use it when I was too scared to put the other darker products on my face but usually now I just use the remnants of what’s on my tanning mitt to do a quick swipe over my chops.  The face tanner is a noticeable colour, not orange but enough to feel you don’t have to wear any bronzer at all.  I usually give up on make up completely if I have a tan, the colour evens your skin out.

The other Xen Tan product I tried out was Perfect Blend.  It’s an interesting idea, basically, one half of the canister is fake tan and the other is a bronzer.  You can use the dial at the top to control how much of each product comes out.  I sorta loved this idea, especially the bronzer, which I figured would be like instant tan for situations when you suddenly realise you’ll be wearing a dress and you weren’t prepared.  The thing is.. it’s not really like that.  I honestly did not think there was any colour in this product at all.  The bronzer did zip and the tan was like… less than the Mousse I mentioned earlier.  I thought it was a can of nothing I paid money for.  Definitely the most most disappointing of this range.

The one thing I can’t recommend highly enough is those fake tan mitts.  Sure they seem a bit useless but they are ESSENTIAL for an even application.  Plus they stop your palms soaking in colour.  Winner all round, really.  I guess if you don’t want to buy one you could use a sock.  Keep it gangsta, and such.

The last thing I did try out recently is the Sally Hanson Spray on Legs.  I can’t remember what colour I got.  I didn’t read the instructions because I know everything and employed my poor boyfriend to spray it on for me.  There was a lot of EEEEKKKK ing involved, mainly because its A) Freezing straight out of the can B) SUCH a strong colour C) Is not so much a fake tan as it is a body makeup.  It’s like a foundation for legs.  When I did read the instructions it said to spray it into your hand first.  It washes off immediately in the shower with a bit of a scrub.  I liked it I guess, it’s definitely a product that can be used in Emergency Dress situations for its Fuck It, That’ll Do perks.

I found the bestest ever sunscreen with a bronzer and such, more on that in my next post.