Kiwi Shot

Another frustrated email sent to Georgie.

After the whole We’ve cancelled your card due to someone using it in Canada, oh no wait, maybe it was because your mail was being returned, whoops sorry we sent your pin number to your mum in New Zealand because the system hasn’t updated your new address yet, which then lead to the Crying Like a Dumped 13 Year Old In Front of Managing Director After Being Forced to Borrow Money for 2 Weeks episode, I thought my troubles with HSBC were over.

As it happens, no. No, they are not.

A week of stress and panic which incidentally, has led to me develop an eye twitch, occurred whilst trying to find a flat. Finally, I found one and have organized mine and my flatmates deposits. 6 weeks rent + 1 month in advance + £376 Agency fee thosemotherfuckers. I rang the bank to let them know a large amount of cash would be withdrawn from my account. “Well ok”, HSBC told me. “We can flag your account so you can make the transaction without your card being stopped”. Great, I thought.
“Please make the transaction in the next 10 – 15 minutes.”
Hold up, no. That’s not cool. This is my money, my account, furthermore I can’t make the real estate office process the transaction in 10 minutes. “Yes, we do this to prevent fraud.” How is it fraud if I’m ringing you NOW to tell you that I’m going to pay a freaking deposit? “Ahh, ok, well, um, you have one day.”

This morning my real estate agent rang me to say my card had declined. So on the phone once again, to HSBC. “Please take the freaking stop off my card. I told you yesterday I’d be making this transaction.” “I’m sorry Miss Lilley, we do this to prevent fraud.” “It’s not fraud when I’M TELLING YOU THE TRANSACTION IS GOING TO HAPPEN.” “Of course, the stop has been taken off your card.”

Not quite over yet.

About half an hour ago, my real estate agent rung me again. “Lilley, I’m sorry, your card has declined again. Are you sure you have the money on there?” Holy mother of…

On the phone, once again to satan HSBC. “YOU’VE STOPPED MY CARD AGAIN. AGAIN! THAT’S TWICE IN ONE DAY. STOP STOPPING MY FUCKING CARD.” “Our apologies Miss Lilley, I will need to put you through to Fraud Prevention.” ARGGGGGH.

“Hello Miss Lilley, I’d like to inform you that a large transaction was attempted…”
“By a real estate agency? Could it be, the real estate agency trying to take money for the deposit that I’ve told you about 3 times now? Could it be? TAKE THE FUCKING STOP OFF MY CARD AND KEEP IT OFF.”
“Well you must understand, the system puts a stop on…”

By the end of that phonecall I think she was in tears before she trembled “bye” and hung up. I have no remorse.

About half an hour after I sent this email, they cancelled my card for the 3rd time. By this stage I had my entire office entertained and listening in on my increasingly violent phone conversations. 2 HSBC managers later, my real estate agent finally got the cash.