I don’t know why this happens, but I am constantly getting sent emails from random Americans who I have never been in contact with. They seem to have no connection with each other either, as they are all from different states.

The first one, was I was put on some sort of parents group thing for a school. “I’m worried about meningitis”, a lady wrote. “My child has told me she shares drink bottles with (child’s name who is apparently my kid) and I think we need to explain to them the dangers about sharing drinks”. I wrote back saying she had the wrong email. She replied with an apology. But she kept emailing me. All this crap about parents get-togethers and what our kids were doing at school. It finally stopped when I told her I don’t actually have any children, because I hate them.

Another lady emailed me asking if I could come pick her up for church. “My husband and sons are out”, she explained. “So I can’t get there”. I wrote back telling her that she should call her sons immediately and tell them to come back home to take her out. “Oh, but they are grown up you see, they have families of their own now! I am an 85 year old woman so I can’t drive myself anymore”. It took me 5 (polite, I promise) emails to explain to her, that no, I am not the guy she thought I was and yes, it is possible to email someone who doesn’t live in America. She couldn’t believe she had emailed New Zealand. Fancy that!

The other day I got a weird email from some woman giving me the link to her blog so I could keep updated on her trip. I deleted it, because I am once again on some sort of mailing list I’m not meant to be on.

Tonight, I have received a thank you email from Blogtripwoman, for house sitting and looking after Muffin. She forwarded me 4 pages of details on her house, her dog Muffin, where her keys are, phone numbers etc. I wrote back:

Hello,
Thank you for your email. I have no idea who you are, but your house sounds lovely. I can’t believe you have 3 compost bins. How on earth do you go through that much disposable trash?

Have fun on your holiday,

Tigerlilley

Also, if you happen to find this blog, random lady, I think you are mean for shutting your TV services off. What’s your housesitter meant to watch now, hmm?