Damnit. Talk about it being hard to find a flat in London. I’m not talking about price, avaliability or location. I’m saying its hard to find a listing that’s NOT from a damn scammer.

Georgie has been in contact with two people this week, one from gumtree.co.uk, the other from moveflat.co.uk. I thought I’d blog our ordeal, because after a quick scan on google, we could only find one other instance of this.

The first “girl” Noemi, started out ok. n.moreno070@googlemail.com

Hello there,

I am sorry i couldn’t get back to you earlier than this.i was waiting to get a hold of the rental contract so i can send to you.

Please find attached the rental contract.Read and see if you agree with the terms and conditions.

You will also need to pay the refundable security deposit so i can issue you a receipt.I hope this can be arranged within the shortest possible time.

Then we got this:

I am also sending some details about myself.Hope this will give you an insight to who i am.I don’t have a picture on this computer so i am sending you a scan of my dn,there is a small picture on it so you can at least see my face.

She then listed everything, weight, star sign, religion, marital status, personality traits and preferences in music. “Oh HELL NO” I told Georgie. “She’s into rap. We can’t live with her”. The photo she sent certainly was small. It was more an icon than a photo.

We told her that as we are in New Zealand and cannot view the flat ourselves, we would send Georgies uncle round to have a look. Should of been ok right? No. She wanted the deposit first:

I really have to take a decision in the next few days so i can know what to say to the other people.The problem here is that i can’t wait till next weekend which is the earliest time i can meet your uncle to take a decision so hopefully,we can sort something out in the next few days.If you are able to send the last page of the contract and also make payment,then i can be sure how to handle this.

It was about this point where Georgie got suspicious. We tried to call her on the phone numbers she gave us. Neither of us could even get a ringing tone. <

N.b…My mobile is off right now as it fell in water.I am drying right now so i will turn it on later today.Meanwhile,you can send me your number so i can call you also.It will be a pleasure to add a voice to your name.

We got a friend in London to call the cellphone. A man answered… he sounded a bit caught in the headlights.

You got my brother on the phone this morning while i was in a meeting.He told me you didn’t leave a name so i did know it was you until now.

Yea, we should of given up by now. But this flat looked so good. Then she suddenly knocked 20pounds off rent a week. This is the email we got regarding the deposit

All you need do is go to any money gram or western union outlet with my details…… and make the payment.You will be given a transfer code which you will email to me.As this is my call,i accept the transfer cost so you can either take the transfer cost out of what you are sending or come with the receipt so i can return it to you.

We told her we weren’t cool with that. So she suggested this:

Meanwhile,the best i can do to make you feel secured about this is that you can wire the deposit to your uncle instead and just send me a scan of the receipt so i can confirm the transfer.When i confirm this,then i can be sure you are committed to this.

Sounded kosher. Not quite. The minute “she” got the deposit receipt, all she’d need to do was pretend to be Georgies uncle to pick up the cash. She’d have all his details from that receipt. If she had had more offers on the flat, she would have taken them by now. We’d fucked around with this for a week. I guess there is small satisfaction in wasting their time. We told her again no, and her emails got a little bit more desperate.

In as much as i understand your position,it seem very unfair that i should be judged by the standard of cheats.I have told you that if you are not comfortable with western union,you can make use of money gram which i have used a couple of times without any problem.you will just send through the transfer code,sender’s and receiver’s name so i can confirm.The other consideration i can give to make you comfortable is that you can send just one deposit for now.That way the risk is reduced for you.All other issues can then be sorted out with your uncle on Saturday.I have done the best i can in this situation.I appreciate your interest and i hope this can be sorted out today.If this doesn’t work for you however,i wish you all the best in your search and i will be more than glad to meet you when you arrive in London.

Yeap. Time to tell her to go fuck herself.

Email Number 2 from Bruce. bcbrucecharles@gmail.com

I am giving this flat away just because no one is making use of the house at the moment. and i hate to see it dirty every time. Its better for me to let it out to someone who will make it clean and tidy. I hope you understand this. Well, Viewing the house is not a problem. But i will like you to do a thing. I guess you will understand this. It’s in the policy my Lawyer has told me and i wish to abide by it. I won’t get any money from you now. So you will do a thing to make me believe you really need the Apartment.I have been fooled several times and I had to travel a long journey with my Lawyer to meet people who wants to view my property and at the end of the day they tell me they want to stay in the apartment for a month before they would pay me. I don’t want this to happen to me again so My Lawyer has advised me that I have to be sure that who so ever is renting my property should be capable of paying the cost of the rent.

You will go to the nearest WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER around you,Send to your Friend send the sum 1100pounds in western union. The money is still within you. I am not ready to get money from you as i have said. All I need to see is the western union money transfer copy of receipt giving to you. Scan the western union receipt and send it as an attachment to my email just for me to view it and be sure you are ready to get the Flat. after viewing the house, and you really like it, You can go together to the western union location agent or bank around here to get the 1100 pounds back and we can reach an agreement on how you will move into the Flat. I will pay back to you the charges you will be using in sending the money in western union. If you don’t understand, Here is an examples of how to do it….

GAH. Thanks Bruce. I’ve signed your email address up to a donkey porn site as a thankyou for your email.