Kiwi Shot

I’ve spent the better part of my day reading Not Always Right, stories of impossible customers. So I thought I’d share one of mine. I wrote this up in an email and sent it to my friends.

Hi everyone,
Working in customer service throws you some pretty random curve balls. I’ve had everything from “I would like to know if this printer takes black ink” to random screaming matches about ordering products online.

I would like to start a tradition where we send through our best stories of the morons we have to deal with. I would like to start todays story:

This happened about 5 minutes ago. Backstory: To order off my site, you need an account. Mainly so we have shipping and invoice details. Now and again I will put things on my account for customers and just grab their credit card details if things need to be rushed. Only if they aren’t assholes.

Old man: I would like to order some cookware off your site

Me: Ok then, you will need an account, its free and easy to sign up

Old man: NO. I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY PASSWORD. I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY EMAIL ADDRESS. I WILL NOT MAKE UP A BIDDING NAME

Me: Er.. ok.? Just so you know, your password and bidding name can be completely abituary, we are not asking for any personal details, bar your shipping address.

Old man: Why should I give you my email address? I am going to place an order NOW over the phone and give you my credit card details and address. I do NOT need to give out an email address for any other store! I order things from all over the world! Why do you need an email address? This is my work email address, I will not let you have it (continued rant for the next 3 mintues)

Me: I also order things from all over the world. Ebay, Trademe and Amazon all require an email address.

Old man: No they don’t. On Trademe I just give them my credit card details.

(He cleary has never used Trademe, Ebay or Amazon before.)

Me: Ok. Well I cannot help you if you don’t create an account. We need your email address to email you your invoice, which is your proof of purchase.

Old man: This is rubbish! What if I didn’t have a computer? How would I have an email address?

Me: If you didn’t have a computer, how would you know we exist? We are an online store only.

He hung up on me.

I hate people.