The Races are held once a year. For some people, this is a time to get dressed in your best, head down to the track and bet on horses. For others, this is a time to get dressed in your best and drink as much alcohol as you can throughout the day.

“We’re starting at 9am sharp”, Zara told me. “Be at my house then. 9am. No, its not too early. For fucks sake, just get out of bed earlier.” The plan was, drink at Zaras, drink at the races, then head back for the party at my place and drink there also. Its usually a 15 hour + marathon.

Except on Friday I was in so much pain I couldn’t stand properly. Turns out I have a pretty bad kidney infection. Could not have come at a worse time :( It was my first races completely sober.

Zaras drink of choice

My drink of… no choice

And holy shit it was funny. “Your FASCINATOR” Zara chanted at me. “I LOVE YOUR FASCINATOR. YOU’RE SO FASCINATING”. I still have no idea what she was on about. I actually spent a lot of the time wondering what I look like when I’m drunk.
We began the first “Search for Marcus” of the day and gave up pretty quickly. Spent a lot of time in the Red Bull tent, dancing away to Spice Girls, Robbie Williams, SClub and some other awful crap they were blasting. We somehow made it into the VIP tents where my dad and his crew were. Then I headed home alone, complaining of the sore kidneys.

I went back to pick up about 4 car loads of people, once again, doing the “Search for Marcus” dance. I’ve never met a man with such a SHIT SENSE OF DIRECTION. Never again. Never.

I thought the party at my parents place was sorta boring, but everyone seemed to have a good time. People ended up in the pool fully clothed, there was boob pinching, there were people coma ed, there was dancing, there was 2 litres of LIMONCELLO. There was Emma trying to ask me the name of the equipment we used in Science class. “COCK PUMP” she declared. “COCK PUMP. COCK PUMP?”
“Bunsen Burner?”
“Oh yes, that’s it.”

Limoncello

I went to bed around 11 and listened to the music blaring out my parents speakers. When suddenly I heard the familiar sound of a Playstation2 being turned on. Then the even more familiar sound of Guitar Hero 3 starting up. I ran downstairs to see around 40 people standing inside watching and my brother talking himself up big time about his Guitar Hero skillz.

I kicked his arse hard in both songs that we played. It was my most Epic Guitar Hero Moment Evah. The big audience of people just made my victory that much sweeter.

I spent the most of our lunchtime at work today reminding Zara of the days events.
“Do you remember when you yelled at that guy and he threw matches at you?”
“No! Really?”
“And you had a big fight with Marcus over the phone”
“Aw shit, sorry Marcus”
“You also brought us a bottle of wine”
“Ahh, well that would explain why I don’t remember that part of the day”
“We danced to Spice Girls”
“Awesome! Did I do that?”
“Yes, you danced with Jayden”
“Ahh yes, I remember seeing Jayden. And Joel. Or was Joel at your house?”
Hehe. Its weird being the one that remembers stuff.

Photos of Races 08